I’ve had to deal with my fair share of passive-aggressive idiots lately, and nothing irritates me more than when these types of people interfere with reaching my goals.
This has forced me to take a step back and remember to put things in perspective.
It’s easy to get stressed about the daily bullshit, but regardless of what happens in life, we choose to be happy or sad, calm or frustrated, excited or depressed.
We wake up each morning expecting things will go a certain way, and as long as we’re making progress, we tend to be happy, but our mood turns the moment we hit an obstacle.
Let’s say you wake up and everything is going along smoothly—that is, until you hit morning traffic. That’s when you become irritable. It’s not the traffic that pisses you off—it’s the interruption of your plan that’s irritating.
Your feelings have more to do with your thoughts than with what’s happening in your life. Your thoughts dictate your feelings, and your feelings are the result of the messages you tell yourself.
If you feel depressed, you may think it’s the result of bad things that happened. Life beats us up. We suffer catastrophic losses, face devastating personal problems, and confront cruel and selfish people.
Genetics accounts for only about 16 percent of depression, but genetics often gets more credit than it deserves. In most cases, depression appears to be caused by outside factors, but focusing on them leaves us powerless against things that are beyond our control. How we choose to respond to those influences is the actual cause of our unhappiness.
You cannot change your genetics or childhood experiences, but you can change your beliefs, values, and the way you perceive the world.
With a new perspective, you can experience profound changes in your mood, productivity, and happiness—regardless of the many annoyances you confront.
Your moods are created by the way you interpret your environment. Whatever you’re feeling right now is because of the thoughts you’re thinking this minute.
When you’re feeling depressed, your thoughts are dominated by a negative perspective. If you perceive yourself and the world in dark and gloomy terms, you’ll eventually believe things are as bad as you’re imagining them to be.
Depression is not an emotional disorder. It’s usually based on a distorted point of view. Our negative thoughts always include over-generalizations that seem real in the moment, but time usually reveals just how irrational they are.
Every bad feeling you have is the result of inaccurate negative thoughts.
Your mind is the actual cause of self-defeating emotions. Automatic thoughts run through your mind without the slightest effort and these over-generalizations are what can cause you to feel lethargic and inadequate.
Before you can experience any event, you must first process it with your mind and assign meaning to it. You must understand what is happening before you can feel it.
Every time you feel sad, irritated, or depressed, try to identify a corresponding negative thought you had just prior to and during the feeling.
These thoughts are what led to your bad mood. By restructuring them, you can change your mood. If that doesn’t work, stop what you’re doing and spend three minutes focusing on everything you’re grateful for.
It is a game changer.
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